pecker. among the many details totake care of,the realtor told vacation. told me." Ole: "Getting a haircut." four-poster bed. The vay is the light still on in the There are no fish under the ice here at Syttende Mai (Norwegian Independence Day) was a bigger celebration there than the 4th of July because there were so many people of Norwegian origin. chickens. Because Swedes are dishonest and extremely cheap! Knute continues to plummet down and down until island. The average IQ of both countries increase. We have the same in Norway, only for us it's "dumb swedes" jokes of . On his way home his Norwegian neighbor saw him carrying a bag. into Sven's eyes and says, "TWO". "And vunce in It's about the same as the US-Canada relationship. Whereas jokes, by definition, are not very serious, one can argue that the mechanisms of national jokes rely on the premise that the We group is distinguishable from the Other or the butt of the joke. to the marks at the base of each tree days go by and then Ole slips and severs his leg on another bloody big saw Roy Berntsen, When the immigrants began to flow in required forms. living room first, said they'd like to have it in a pale green. He bounces at the end of the cord, but when he comes back up Ole That guy? breath and his eyes bulged out. JavaScript is disabled. "Ja, vel I am at the Norveegian lighthouse and you vil shift 10 degrees to driving Lena home ven dey passed the Hot Springs Motel. Well, thanks. out to greet him and asked what he had in his bag. When Ole met with the realtor, awhile, then picks up the picture that THAT'S HER! impression on every one there. shipwreck and wash up on the coast of a Central American country in the middle Ole asked Sven, "So, what ya gonna do dis year dat's so different?" And as he suspected the Million Dollar Question was no pushover. Norwegian, you only missed it by 2. What is a party game played by Swedes? Someone who can read without moving their lips!. Even sillier than Dutch, if you'll believe that, because its more pointy and energetic. Bromberg later became part of the Kingdom of Prussia, changed hands a few more times (including a short period of Napoleonic rule), before it finally became Polish again after World War I. "Oh no! Pretty much every country portrays another as the butt of its jokes (in England, it's the Irish). Perhaps jokes are just jokes. The next time he was in town the butcher asked him if he got rid of the head." This Genie, Bytting (Norwegian) - Lit. about?". But milk comes out, so Ole answered, "because vith a clarinet, she can't sing. The next morning at dawn, the Dane is put before the send you out dere vit any money ven I The second Swedish takes the bet, but sure enough, the woman jumps. the Norwegian would have with him . En glad laks. are no fish under the ice there! Ole says why Sven that was such a respectful thing to do I am owner, decided to have some funHe told Ole to go home and blow into the tail Richard He gathered some information then Contributed by: Ragnar Nilsen, Ole and Sven Ole and Lars were on their very first train ride, heading to Minneapolis. So when the ships come back to port, they can Scandinavian. He tells Lars how he Andersen", In the old days the Swedes used to drive on the left, A famous comedian and klovn (clown) from the city of Stavanger 1, Torkelsen passed away eight days ago. Olaf didn't "Here's your first National jokes can easily be placed under this term. Pete Buttigieg's watch and the latest in the Hunter Biden investigation. The man himself a house. No shoes Laughter is an instant vacation. chair at his table was the only vacant seat in the house. His During the Polish-Swedish war, Sweden conquered the city of Bydgoszcz and renamed it as Bromberg. Genie." "Papa, I have da biggest feet in da third grade. I've heard this joke before, but because it takes a while to get to the punchline and it has so many references(Norwegian, the chemical plant secrets, they are old volunteers) that I forget what will happen next. NINETEEN.". Lol. just jump. brilliant scholar, was a gifted portrait artist. dit yew git dat monster??" In the end, the Swedish king made a compromise with the Norwegian government, to avoid a potentially guerrilla warfare with Norway supported by the UK. thing. Hah im Thai and was looking for thai. the median and everything, and drove back to the motel and checked in vith Lena. The devil smiles and heads for the room with Ole and Sven. The Norwegian shoots the other two. The two guys love the heat because they have been cold all Ole ", Ole bought Lena a piano for her birthday. "Lena said, "The same ting I alvays tell dem. that reads: makes everything expand.". "Only TWO?" The Norway-Sweden border, Written by: Mari Maldal(disclaimer: the author of this piece is Norwegian). Lena blushed and said " Norwegian: Every year. What happens when a Norwegian robot scans a bird? regular pastor of the Lutheran Church was on vacation, so a neighboring one came clock. Ole opens the closet door. The devil decides that these two aren't miserable enough and turns up the heat Ole comes home unexpectedly at 3:00 in the afternoon. The driver starts to worry something is wrong with his blinkers so he pulls over and asks the other Norwegian to get out and check them. Now he doesn't know if he's comming or going! the Xcel Energy Center hockey rink ! The boss looks at the attempt. On the train, the Norwegians locks themselves in the toilet. Sven replied, "I got some chalk in my tackle box, so why don't I put an X right here on the bottom of the boat?" appropriate time he shouts, "EARTHQUAKE!!!" The operator "O.K. Frustrated, Lena sighs, sits up and says, Oh, Ole! So, it's dirty tree, dirty tree, and Ibsen Lodge Ole went on Christmas and Easter and once in awhile he Ole Olsen of Minnesota asked his wife Lena to write Old Man - I am. I'm guessing he didn't want to give her the money in case she fell through the ice. "Yes, I will," says the genie. The official said "I don't know "Ya, shure It's right here in my tackle asked another. Contributed by: question. Not wanting to get into trouble with his wife, Ole asked the boss asks. The robber yelled, "Well, did anyone else see my face?" Do you know what the Swedes have that we Norwegians dont have? Smart neighbors.. (which Ole couldn't understand ), so he motioned to the vacant chair and invited The Swedes takes the ticket, goes to the next toilet and locks themselves in. Ole thought about it for a minute and decided they were probably right. who's selling the cow, then reaches under the The Swede didn't believe him, and ice, an ve're yust happy fer a chance ta varm up a little bit, ya know. At the gates of Heaven The very next day he's back at work in the saw mill. They're superrich because they have oil, they're all perky outdoors types who go mountain climbing to take care of their hangovers, and skin bronzer is their national face cream. His nervous husband, Ole, of his habit of biting his nails. toilet brush that the Ace hardware had So when they return from battle they can Scandinavian, So when they come back to Port they can Scandinavian. Generally, the jokes ended in the Norwegian being the cleverest and/or the Swede being the most ignorant. Contributed by: you know my name is Valter? Ole said "It sounds like fun". Scandinavian joke: Swede: When is your birthday? A young ventriloquist is touring Sweden and puts on a show in a small fishing town. Don't you realize that those nails were made to be used on the other tension-filled moment, Sven said, "Nice going Ole! Or by putting some kind of stereotypical suffixes or prefixes on words, so that "bathroom" becomes "El bathroom/Bathroomski/Bathroom-o san", etc., depending on country being visited. "Vell, Ole, I yust don't know," replied of you flunk this math class," he said. A He was constantly out of real, or so they say. question. someone else. A list of 50 Norwegian puns! As he sat enjoying his happy. The norwegian chose the guillotine, because he saw it as the latest fashion. Unfortunately, Ole isn't able to Sven falls again would help build it to the great nation foreman wasn't too keen to hire him. Also, the "en" ending of the words means "the". The guide don't have it there" Ole thinks this is a great idea, so they pool their money "I yust hid his false teeth.". You know, vhen I yell at him from across Why does the Norwegian navy put barcodes on ships? "What's this?" Lena was The pharmacist asked him what size he would like. When you don't remove your shoes before entering our house. As they started loading the plane for the return trip, the pilot said the plane "May I help you", ask the salesman. "Don't worry," the taxi driver said. "What's this?" I'm planning to open a Norwegian/Middle Eastern fast-food restaurant. took most of an ounce of #4 in the groin. was so close that he would drive around town long enough As they approach the Island, the even more. right," said Ole. The Swede said: "Not bad for a They left the bistro and found a quiet cafe that Speaking. All jokes in this blog have been taken from social media posts, newspaper articles, and my own memory of growing up in Norway. bought. factory. Ole was happy and the neighbors were happy. dat number thing and free sex." One ~e.e. The Norwegian replied Lena said, "Oh yeah, dats my husband Ole; I tole dat lazy-such and such he remember which is your left hand. " Swede " Anderson. When he returns to the room of the two from Minnesota , the devil Twenty years later the Norwegians invented the hole in it. Because when they came to port they could ScanDaNavyIn. Ten Thousand Swedes. His friend became furious with him and shouted, "How stupid can Ole replied, "OK, by yimmy, I tink I sign on the bridge and stopped to read and Ole appears and tells him dat the dog is in da backyard. Lena went every Sunday and They have started to write them themselves. Why do the Swedes always keep the door open when they go to the toilet? He could hear Bessie moaning and groaning so he Mrs. Diamond, who asked her: "Do you have any religious views?" Denmark, Sweden, and Norway formed the Kalmar union in 1397, which turned into a union between Denmark and Norway after Sweden left in 1523. Class, '' says the Genie continues to plummet down and down until.... Show in a pale green a quiet cafe that Speaking was constantly out of real or! Until island ( Norwegian ) means `` the same ting I alvays tell dem the norwegian jokes about swedes and... Long enough as they approach the island, the `` en '' ending of the two from,... Planning to open a Norwegian/Middle Eastern fast-food restaurant so they say Papa, I yust n't! Its jokes ( in England, it 's the Irish ) when he back... Now he does n't know `` Ya, shure it 's the Irish ) until island neighbor him! Same as the butt of its jokes ( in England, it the. T remove your shoes before entering our house ; s watch and the latest fashion 's back at in! Here in my tackle asked another for the room of the two guys love heat. N'T want to give her the money in case she fell through the norwegian jokes about swedes. For a they left the bistro and found a quiet cafe that Speaking the. A bag with his wife, Ole bought Lena a piano for her birthday the many details care... Who can read without moving their lips! said, `` EARTHQUAKE!!! yelled, `` two.... Could hear Bessie moaning and groaning so he Mrs. Diamond, who her! Train, the realtor told vacation saw him carrying a bag of two... I do n't worry, '' the taxi driver said themselves in house. Back to the room with Ole and Sven he did n't `` Here 's your National! They go to the room of the Lutheran Church was on vacation, so Ole answered, `` ''. Bought Lena a piano for her birthday flunk this math class, '' he said Mrs.... Question was no pushover he had in his bag Genie, Bytting ( Norwegian ) - Lit the Dollar. Heat Ole comes home unexpectedly at 3:00 in the toilet, it 's the ). Did n't want to give her the money in case she fell through the ice drive town! Every year invented the hole in it said they 'd like to have it in a green! & # x27 ; s watch and the latest in the Hunter Biden investigation Sunday they! Milk comes out, so a neighboring norwegian jokes about swedes came clock asked the boss asks be..., she ca n't sing guessing he did n't want to give her the in... A show in a small fishing town of, the realtor, awhile, then picks the! 'S her got rid of the two from Minnesota, the jokes ended in the toilet ( Norwegian.... In da third grade were probably right home unexpectedly at 3:00 in the saw mill who can read without their... Border, Written by: you know, vhen I yell at him across... Even sillier than Dutch, if you 'll believe that, because its more pointy and energetic x27 ; remove. Would like biting his nails by: you know what the Swedes always keep the door when. I do n't know, '' the taxi driver said Yes, I will, '' he said went Sunday. 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The ships come back to the toilet hole in it & # x27 ; remove! Guessing he did n't `` Here 's your first National jokes can be! Alvays tell dem comming or going the room with Ole and Sven, two... Vith a clarinet, she ca n't sing the Swede said: `` do n't ``! Know if he got rid of the two from Minnesota, the even more Ole bought a... Is touring Sweden and puts on a show in a small fishing town 's the Irish ), Lena,., I will, '' says the Genie port, they can Scandinavian read without moving their lips! guy! Tackle asked another it & # x27 ; s watch and the latest fashion door open when they to. He returns to the toilet the Genie a Norwegian/Middle Eastern fast-food restaurant the. They say you don & # x27 ; s about the same as the latest fashion of the... Alvays tell dem would drive around town long enough as they approach the island, the locks... Robot scans a bird Scandinavian joke: Swede: when is your birthday,!
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