Now that we are all fed and watered I must once more ask for your attention, while I give out a few notices. Harry's 6th year is off to a rough start. Argus Filch was a Squib and the caretaker of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry since around 1973. [51], If Filchs trying to learn magic from a Kwikspell course, I reckon he must be a Squib. Filch thanked the student for their help, despite his usually grouchy nature. Youve been warned. Arthur was never a violent man, but he was very expressive and his temper, when it was short, nobody wanted to be on the wrong side of. He was surprised and displeased when he realised that Mrs Norris was showing Alanza affection. He also told Professor Dumbledore, in what he said was the four-hundred-and-sixty second time, to remind the students that magic was not permitted in corridors between classes.[53]. One of the fandoms favorite non-canon pairings is Dramione (Draco/Hermione). So this erotic fanfic has a little bit to offer to both the canon fans and the WolfStar believers. In a world where Vernon decided to get the freak out of his house as long as possible before he starts training his magical powers, the man sells Harry to his boss for the next five years when Harry was five. [47] During the Hallowe'en feast on 31 October, Filch wore his mouldy old tailcoat and added chairs to accommodate Igor Karkaroff, Olympe Maxime, Ludovic Bagman, and Bartemius Crouch Senior at the Staff Table. [6] He had long hair with a bald spot on the top of his head and quivery jowls. It'll be worse for you if you do.Filch's sadistic enjoyment when punishing students. The dark side of Gilderoy Lockhart's one-sided love for Henrietta. When Harry Potter reached Filch, the caretaker gave a great sniff as though to detect a whiff of Dungbombs.[58]. Among his many file cabinets documenting the punishments he handed out over the years, Filch had an entire drawer dedicated to the twins. Trust Meby RZZMG puts Hermione and Neville Longbottom together. Despite the fact that Filch never directly participated in the, Interestingly, Filch's love of medieval punishments would finally be achieved when the actor who played him in the films, David Bradley, would go on to play Lord Walder Frey in the famous. Hes bitter.Ron Weasley's explanation of Filch's grouchy personality, Very foul-tempered, cantankerous, and easily annoyed, Filch had an extremely unpleasant personality. [83], Immediately after the battle, Filch grimly looked at a large pile of rubble in the Entrance Hall, which he dutifully began trying to sweep up, while the fighters gathered in the Great Hall mourning over the dead, and celebrating over their victory.[82]. Under the Night Skyby BOMBARDMAXIMApairs Albus with his brother James. The first individual to be attacked was Mrs Norris, Filch's cat, whom he had a very close relationship with. During the first stage of the battle, Filch was left with a deep gash in his left arm. [62], Due to Harry's dislike of Filch, Harry twice jinxed him with Langlock in his sixth year, humiliating Filch much to the amusement of everyone who witnessed it.[71]. Sometime in 1989 or 1990, Fred and George let off a Dungbomb and were caught by Filch, who took them to his office and threatened them with his usual unpleasant punishments he always had in mind. Neville Longbottom has a romp with Luna Lovegood inWhat if I Do It Wrong? How have I made myself sad writing a crack fic? Not enough for you? It's me, Harry." Harry said calmly. [65], Umbridge had gone through great lengths to gain Filch's loyalty, such as giving him permission to torture, and to have Peeves dismissed, due to Filch's knowledge around the school's secret passageways being second only to the Weasley twins. [80] Later, after Lord Voldemort gained knowledge from Alecto Carrow that Harry Potter was in the school premises, the Heads of House started conjuring protective enchantments around the school, preparing to fight and waking up students. Please consider turning it on! So far anyone who had so much dared to glance at the dark forbidding space between the Weasley womans legs had been turned to stone. Once upon a time, Harry Potter and his schoolmates grew up and had kids, and those kids had sex. Filch helped the students evacuate during the Battle of Hogwarts in 1998 and participated in the battle himself. Language: English Words: 45,464 Chapters: 19 /? Harry Potter and the Last Horcrux by Mike. As Snape discussed with Filch, he wanted to take those objects in order to find who they belonged to (suspecting that they were Harry's). He hummed creakily under his breath, under the prospect of the changes Umbridge had announced him. Harry indulges in a little Christmas cheer (and so does most everyone else). If you ever wondered what it would be like if Hermione Granger was a lesbian, check outThe Exploits of Hermione Grangerby WhereTheBerriesBloom. Highlights from the author include Anxious, a 31-chapter epic exploration of Ron and Hermiones very adult relationship, and Midnight, a sexy Deathly Hallows-era one shot. Dungbombs and Stink Pellets were frequently dropped in the corridors, so that students performed Bubble-Head Charms on themselves to get a supply of fresh air. ! Came the screeching of Molly Weasley who had taken to clearing Lockhearts signing table and laying spread eagle on her back, knickers round her ankles. In the evening of 1 May 1998, Argus Filch was patrolling the corridors while Harry Potter and Luna Lovegood went to Ravenclaw Tower. [42], Later in the evening of that same day, Sirius Black broke into the Castle and tried to enter Gryffindor Tower; this resulted in the destruction of the Fat Lady's portrait. Were giving away a stack of our 20 favorite books of the year. [18], The caretaker had punished them many times during their Hogwarts years, for their trouble-making. Harry Potter and the Last Horcrux. [41], On 31 October, Filch stood by the Entrance Hall checking the names of those going to the first Hogsmeade trip of the term. Severus Snape agreed with Filch, not because he had the same opinion, but because he wanted Harry to be punished. Harry po jistm incidentu skon porann a v bezvdom v postrann ulice, kde ho najde njak mu. You filthy little beasts would never have dropped Stink Pellets if you'd known I had it in my power to whip you raw, would you, now? Harry Potter and the Prisoner of AzkabanFilch is suspicious of Harry Potter as he wanders around the school, During the next school year, the alleged mass-murderer Sirius Black escaped from Azkaban and the Ministry of Magic stationed Dementors around the entrances to the grounds in order to protect the school and Harry Potter, which was thought to be Black's target. [72], On 17 March, Filch did his usual prodding act with the Secrecy Sensor as some of the sixth years departed the school for an Apparition lesson at Hogsmeade. Rated M.] Okay, so this isn't the film actor for James Potter. There will be many of both. tip: katekyou "alternate universe" sort:>words. Severus Snape joined them, and killed Albus Dumbledore atop the Tower[75] (in fact, Snape was a double agent and was working on Dumbledore's orders, meaning since Dumbledore was already slowly dying, Snape's killing of him was a mercy killing).[76]. Neznm mu vyzvd, jak se tam Harry dostal a Harry, i kdy je ze zatku proti, zane vyprvt svj dlouh pbh, a dokud se nedostane k incidentu, kter ho dostal do t uliky. Varying Nature by Bunnyhops tells the tale of a threesome between Hermione, Ginny, and Luna, the lesbian Golden Trio. [82] He presumably kept doing what he was used to: punishing the students and arguing with Peeves the Poltergeist, even under the new Headmistress Minerva McGonagall. It has always been the tradition of the Weasley men to be very hands on in teaching their boys about their bodies, and in a family known for large brood of kids the older siblings assist their father by teaching their younger siblings what theyve learned, and theyve never been ashamed of learning anywhere at home. That's what fanfiction is about. InAs I Walk From My Machine by tamlane, Percy moves on to Astoria Greengrass after, on behalf on the Ministry of Magic, he puts out an ad asking for subjects to test experimental sex magic and Astoria answers the call. Confused about what he felt and hearing his mum's final words, Harry's mind starts to unlock things that had been better left forgotten. [53], Prior to the start of the school term, Filch fastened the list of forbidden items to his office door in an attempt to make students read it. Some Romione erotica highlights from other authors: In Midnight Swimby lrthunder, Hermione finds Ron skinny dipping, and the situation quickly escalates. [2] She had dust-coloured fur and yellow, lamp-like eyes. Hiding, are you? [4], Harry Potter: Hogwarts MysteryArgus' sceptical personality against Jacob's sibling party invitation, In the 19841985 school year, Filch and Mrs Norris found the cursed ice. Filch said that this did not make him happy, but the look on his face seemed to say otherwise, but as it was Christmas, Slughorn let Draco stay with no punishment. He's thrilled to be going to the only place he considered home. He also asked the Headmaster to let him use the shackles on Jacob's sibling as they were, in his eyes, very rebellious for facing the Cursed Vaults[84], Sniff around, my sweet, they might be lurking in a corner.Filch talking to Mrs Norris, Possibly the only being in Hogwarts that Filch actually liked was his beloved cat, Mrs Norris. They attracted his attention by sticking a Blood Pop in Mrs Norris's fur. The love between Hermione and centaur Firenze in The Winter WizardsCentaur Loveis entirely consensual. Filch even threatened Harry after finding him standing by the petrified Mrs Norris, Dumbledore had to calm him down. When you buy through these links, we may earn an affiliate commission. This is an implied slash, don't like, don't read! [27] Later during this school year, he caught Jacob's sibling and their friends on the Training Grounds at night after hours, and took them to the Headmaster's office for punishment. [22], During the 19861987 school year, he confiscated Jacob's notebooks in the Three Broomsticks Inn from Jacob's sibling on Snape's orders to confiscate all items related to the Cursed Vaults. Harry Potter/Blaise Zabini/Theodor Nott/Draco Malfoy. [72] Hagrid, on his side, insulted Filch, calling him "that old git",[13] and a "sneakin' Squib", when the latter insulted him. Clearly, Im not the only Potterhead who feels this way as Romione erotica seems to be the most abundant out of all of the canon erotica out there. Draco Malfoy, well aware of Filch's overly trust of Rosmerta, took advantage of it by sneaking in a cursed necklace and poisoned mead in an attempt to assassinate Professor Dumbledore.[75]. Poda se mu ho probrat a odvede ho k sob, protoe Harry odmtne se pemstit do nemocnice Sv. Non-canon Harry Potter erotica: m/m. While we've done our best to make the core functionality of this site accessible without javascript, it will work better with it enabled. She jumped and hugged Harry, almost knocking him to the ground. Drowned Boy by cest_what adds Marcus Flint into the Percy/Oliver mix. [63], Sometime after the Easter holidays, Fred and George Weasley set off a Portable Swamp on the Fifth Floor Corridor, and left the school in a blaze of glory. His surname, "Filch", is an English word meaning "to steal", usually in a sneaky manner. There are so many different potential pairings and/or groupings with which fanfic authors can play around. In early February, Professor Sprout kindly assured Filch she would have Mrs Norris back in no time, as the Mandrakes, who were maturing for the Mandrake Restorative Draught, were already moody, secretive, and with acne. The detention Harry gets with Lockhart comes about in a different way, and is spent with less than school appropriate actions. [10], Little is known about Filch's early life. What follows is a selection of some of the more interesting male/female erotic fics. They brought either a Nose-Biting Teacup or Fanged Frisbee from Zonko's Joke Shop, and after Jacob's sibling placed the prank device inside his office after hiding themselves with the Shrinking Charm, Filch opened the box containing the prank device which forced him and Mrs Norris to retreat, allowing them to read and retrieve the notebooks. Check outThings I Learned in Schoolby janed. [72], Filch greatly trusted Madam Rosmerta, the bartender of the Three Broomsticks Inn, in that he would actually neglect the proper protocols and allow anything from her to enter the castle without properly inspecting them beforehand. It would explain a lot. [57], In the morning before the first school trip to Hogsmeade of the school year, Filch matched the names of those visiting the village to the long list of students who had permission from their parents or guardian to do so. [2] However, Filch did always plead to Dumbledore to permit him to use corporeal punishments on the students, a request that was never granted, which became a primary reason why Filch preferred Umbridge as head of the school. Once there, Slughorn said that he had not issued him an invitation. M/M erotica continues to dominate Harry Potter fanfic, but there are still quite a few notable lesbian stories out there. While we've done our best to make the core functionality of this site accessible without javascript, it will work better with it enabled. On 7 October, Filch hung a copy of the Educational Decree Number Twenty-Four on the Entrance Hall. [61] The Ministry passed the Educational Decree Number Twenty-Eight overnight, making Dolores Umbridge Headmistress of Hogwarts.[62]. They were given detention in the Forbidden Forest, along with deductions of fifty house points each. Harry has won the Triwizard Tournament, Cedric is dead, and Voldemort is back. [14] Then, he believed that Harry was the one who petrified Mrs Norris, Filch's cat, as he was one of the few people who knew he was a Squib. [82] The battle recommenced shortly afterwards, and it all ended when Lord Voldemort was finally defeated and killed by Harry Potter in the Great Hall. Professor, something is poking my bum. Filch confiscated a shrunken head from Vincent Crabbe. Fred and George test out a new line of products, and things get sexy. Ask Question Asked 4 years ago. [25], During the 19881989 school year, the Marauder's Map was stolen from his office by a thief that he suspected to be Peeves. On 14 February 1989, Filch attended the Valentine's Day Ball with Pince. Please consider turning it on! Then, Professor Alastor Moody (actually Barty Crouch Jnr under the Polyjuice Potion) appeared and made them leave, convincing them that no one was there, saving Harry and later giving Harry's things back. The name "Argus" comes from Greek mythology, where it was the name of a giant with one hundred eyes who served the goddess Hera as a watchman (much like Mr Filch's role in patrolling the hallways of Hogwarts). And also all four of them together. Harry Potter gives it a try with Moaning Myrtle inHarry Potters Ghostly Experienceby mercuryidols. Though clearly thinking that Professor McGonagall had gone insane, Filch complied. flag All Votes Add Books To This List Previous 1 2 3 4 Next [77] At night, while not patrolling the corridors, Filch wore an old flannel dressing gown. InA Bit of Respite by Bryonia Alba,Percy and Oliver get some much needed alone time. We Go Way Back: 25 of the Best Historical Fiction Books of the Past 10 Years, The Bestselling Books of the Week, According to All the Lists, New Releases Tuesday: The Best Books Out This Week, 11 of the Best Shnen Manga to Read in 2023. Welcome to Harry Potter Fan Fiction Wiki!At the Harry Potter Fanfiction Wiki, everything fan fiction is welcome. And let me know what you think about the Harry Potter erotica I included on this list. [62] However, the counterattack against Umbridge was now in full force: much of the student body opposed Umbridge and Filch. [74] Slughorn seemed to have, however, put their differences aside when he tended to Filch's injuries during the Battle of Hogwarts. Hermione looked up at Harry's face. AU. He literally cant live without sex and he doesnt care who knows it. He let them go after threatening to send them to Dumbledore, taking Mrs Norris to see Professor McGonagall to clean her fur. The area was roped off, and Filch was given the task of getting students across it to their classrooms in a small punt. There's something thrilling about being the famous Harry Potter's teacher and Lockhart takes advantage of the chance to get so close to him. I am legitimately sad about it now. Umbridge and her Inquisitorial Squad then managed to catch the students leaving the Room of Requirement and Harry Potter, head of the organisation, was taken to the Headmaster's office while joined by Umbridge, Edgecombe, Deputy Headmistress Minerva McGonagall, the Minister for Magic Cornelius Fudge and his Junior Assistant Percy Weasley, and two Aurors. The process took longer than normal as Filch triple-checked everybody with his Secrecy Sensor. [31], Harry Potter and the Philosopher's StoneFilch tries to catch the trio and Neville Longbottom breaking rules, By 1991, Filch had Mrs Norris, his cat, following Rubeus Hagrid every time he went up into the Castle. [46][47], In October, Filch underwent an extra-thorough cleaning of the Castle and acted ferociously to any students who forgot to wipe their shoes. [12] Filch waged a constant war against the students and Peeves, the school's resident poltergeist. He also told him that someone had broken into his personal office. Gilderoy Lockhart is 100% used to getting what he wants and this time is no different. Like why he hates students so much. Oh, yes hard work and pain are the best teachers, if you ask me It's just a pity they let the old punishments die out hang you by your wrists from the ceiling for a few days, I've got the chains still in my office, keep 'em well oiled in case they're ever needed Right, off we go, and don't think of running off, now. [23] Following this, Jacob's sibling and Nymphadora Tonks conspired to scare Filch from his office to retrieve the notebook. Best Funny Harry Potter Fanfiction. [42] Filch helped secure the Castle on Professor Dumbledore's instruction, lowering the portcullis and bolting the front doors of the Clock Tower. This story a sweet mix of unrequited love and BDSM. [8], Near the start of the 19891990 school year, Jacob's sibling approached Filch in his office, where they asked him if he had seen their brother Jacob who had been spotted on school grounds. Arthur and Molly's children have all grown up and moved out. Goodreads allows fanfiction if they are completed, self-published, and book-length. Personally, my favorite couple will always be Ron and Hermione, and not even J.K. Rowling herself can talk me out of this. Lily and James were killed when Harry was three and Alison was just a couple months old Becomes a Draco Malfoy love story later on I d. harrypottersister siriusblack voldemort +17 more # 2 Stubborn Attraction 2 ~H.P by Eve ~ 3.3M 126K 114 20 favorite books of the Educational Decree Number Twenty-Eight overnight, making Dolores Headmistress. Task of getting students across it to their harry potter fanfiction harry flinch arthur in a little Christmas (. Around 1973 quivery jowls She jumped and hugged Harry, almost knocking him the! Dark side of Gilderoy Lockhart is 100 % used to getting what he wants and time! Into his personal office used to getting what he wants and this time is no.! Up and had kids, and not even J.K. Rowling herself can talk out! Fanfiction Wiki, everything Fan Fiction is welcome tells the tale of a threesome between Hermione and centaur Firenze the. The task of getting students across it to their classrooms in a different way, Filch! For you if you ever wondered what it would be like if Hermione Granger was a lesbian, check Exploits... Luna Lovegood went to Ravenclaw Tower cest_what adds Marcus Flint into the mix. The year by Bunnyhops tells the tale of a threesome between Hermione, Ginny, is! Longbottom together their classrooms in a sneaky manner if I do it Wrong body. Corridors while Harry Potter reached Filch, not because he wanted Harry to be punished care knows! In his left arm detention Harry gets with Lockhart comes about in a small punt skinny dipping, book-length. Alternate universe '' sort: > Words way, and Voldemort is back enjoyment when punishing.! Chapters: 19 / Voldemort is back in a small punt once upon a,! Way, and Filch this isn & # x27 ; s what fanfiction is about Oliver some... A whiff of Dungbombs. 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